WWIn: Tenner

Wednesday Write-in #49


inside and out  ::  tessellate  ::  starvation  ::  floral  ::  sweat

Inside and out she felt like a crumpled banknote. A tenner that had been gripped in a sweaty fist while the owner of said fist sprinted towards a bus slowly pulling from sight. But I don’t want to go see the elephants, she moaned. The zoo was humid and crowded and unbearable. The flamingos were drooping like overheated tulips. Come on, they’re my favourite animal. He linked her arm under his and studied the zoo map, dotted with small sketches of animals. Sweat was breaking out on her ears, every part of her irritated and made worse by the constant pressure of people either side. A school group was clinging to the railings peering at penguins. Someone threw a crisp towards the lions.

The smell of hay and shit reached them before she caught sight of the first elephant. They were being sprayed down with water, their skin darkening to a matt grey with the fine wrinkle lines of her father’s favourite armchair, a floral mustard pattern. Did you know, he pressed her arm lightly, elephants mourn? They conduct burials. Do they sing hymns she said? He did not laugh like she thought he would but frowned. I’m just joking, she sighed out and reached to kiss his cheek. He was peach toned and close shaved and the elephants panted and snorted water playfully. They watched them till he started to smile, singing Oasis to her under his breath.


By the way I am so happy I will be seeing Jane Austen on a banknote come 2017. How ace is that! Had to steal a quote from Caroline Criado-Perez found here:

‘All Austen’s books are about how women are trapped and misrepresented. It is really sad that she was saying that 200 years ago and I am still having to say that today.’

This banknote will contribute towards representing strong, intelligent women as role models :D.


7 thoughts on “WWIn: Tenner

  1. Oh goddd I love this. I love the first paragraph for the beautiful imagery; the crumpled banknote, the flamingos-as-tulips, and I love the second paragraph for the sadness, the weird mismatch I’m sensing between the characters.

  2. This story is so good! I really love your descriptions in the first paragraph, and the interplay between the characters in the second. I love how they don’t seem to quite understand each other, but the tenderness between them shows anyway. Really great work!

    • Thank you that’s exciting to hear that you like it :). While writing it I wasn’t sure if it was a bit ludicrous their attempts at tenderness with each other, but I’m glad it comes across despite their inadequate selves!

  3. Love this. Poetic as always. The tulip/ flamingo image is wonderful. How delicately you describe their relationship. This is a great piece.

    • Thank you that’s a lovely comment, I like the idea of a delicacy to their bond. Flamingo’s do look kind of bedraggled sometimes I think. Thank you :D.

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